There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.”
~Robert Louis Stevenson
Months ago I saw a book on the shelves at Chapters that made me initially go....hmmm....interesting...I didn't pick it up...I hesitated....for a few reasons, but it did arouse my interest. A few months later, when I was back at Chapters, it still caught my eye and heart, so I decided I would pick it up this time and give it a shot......as I read the initial pages, I thought this might be an interesting challenge. The book is "The Happiness Project", by Gretchen Rubin....I hadn't heard from anyone else that they were reading this book yet, even though it has been out since 2009 and has become a #1 International Best Seller...
Since, I began reading it...and I have to admit I am LOVING IT...I have casually mentioned the book to a few people and a couple have said enthusiastically, "Yeah, I am reading that too..." and another has just sort of looked at me wondering what it might all be about...
Somehow, seeking 'happiness' can conjure up visions of being an unhappy person, but on the contrary...I think for me it is about as Gretchen said, getting to be 'happier'... to spending life with mindful attention on being as happy as you can be in every moment of your life...and by conscientiously thinking about it, acting happier, being happier, and in turn creating a happier atmosphere in your life and in turn impacting the lives of those in your circle.
Some of the nuggets that I am getting from the book at this moment, are:
"Challenge and novelty are key elements to happiness"....It reminds me to embrace challenging times; Gretchen writes "One reason that challenge brings happiness is that it allows you to expand your self-definition. You become larger. Suddenly you can do yoga or make homemade beer or speak a decent amount of Spanish. Research shows that the more elements make up your identity, the less threatening it is when any one element is threatened. Losing your job might be a blow to your self-esteem, but the fact that you lead your local alumni association gives you a comforting source of self-respect. Also, a new identity brings you into contact with new people and new experiences, which are also powerful sources of happiness." pg. 78 March: Aim Higher
This resonated for me as a truth in my adulthood knowing...Recently I have embarked on Insight Meditation with Jill Davey, this has been a challenge to myself, allowed me to stretch. It has been a good thing for me, not only do I get to learn something new, I have been growing into being more insightful, mindful in my day to day moments of living, it has given me the opportunity to find a new circle of friends/community....it is evolving anyway...
Also, of significance to me, was when I read, "Pushing myself, I knew, would cause me serious discomfort. It's a Secret of Adulthood: Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.".....hmmmm....
But doing it anyway, challenging ourselves anyway for me is important...trying it even if it means failure...
Some of the ways I have chosen to expand the elements of my self-identity are:
to reunite with some old friends, one from High School, another from my working days at Peel Health, and to spend time with them, or to nurture the reconnection...to maintain current friendships, and family times, going with my mum to "Canada Blooms" and spending time with her in something she loves, the gardening world, learning more about gardening myself, ....to try something new and challenging, like meditating..and working larger in my artistic practice...Working larger has been physically challenging and emotionally so too....but it created such joy for me when I completed the first large piece (for me anyway), called "Enigma" 38 x 38 (below)...and I am happy to report it felt or resonated joy for someone else too and it sold last week at my new art exhibit at Arts On King, in Toronto..... Next, I am thinking I might enrol in taking some Italian language classes...as I really want to go to Italy for an artistic retreat.....
"Enigma", Encaustic Mixed Media, 38 x 38, 2011
Greten's happiness formula is, "being happier requires you to thinking about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
To feel happy, it’s not enough to have fun with your friends, and not feel guilty about yelling all the time, and feel like you’re working in the right job; you also need to feel growth—a sense of learning, of betterment, of advancement, of contributing to the growth of others. "
1 comment:
My daughter gave me this book and what I found so inspiring about it was that Gretchen followed her heart and actually stuck to her schedule. I think the book club thing was the most intersting for me because it benefitted quite a few other people as well as Gretchen herself. Thanks for this thoughtful post.
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