Cultivating - Wakefulness

"Cultivating", Encaustic Mixed Media, 12 x 12, 2011

Detail  below.  On exhibit at the Whitestone Gallery, Guelph, ON. 

"Everything supports wakefulness if you are willing to let yourself be awakened by tenderly yet consistently connecting through your senses.  Everything. But it requires a brave heart, and a mind that sees the folly in clinging...to anything."

Recently, I lost my father, quite suddenly and unexpectedly, it has been a very surreal journey since that day...I never really know what the day will bring...There are ebbs and flows of emotions, and some days for sure are harder than others, for really no apparent reason...it isn't an anniversary, it isn't even a grey and gloomy day...but today of all days the sun is shining..yet cheer is vacant...

I do know even this is impermanent..and another day will bring another set of emotions..So today, I chose to write another story for myself, one of gentleness, non-expectation to create..."those burdening thoughts of I have to create, I have deadlines to meet"...I chose instead to putter, to be easy, share an ice cream with my daughter after school, walk by the river, look over some books, and I found a lovely gift....

A book called .... "The Heart and the Bottle" by Oliver Jeffers...it is a children's book about a little girl who marvelled at the wonders of the world, the night sky, the curiosities of the world...until one day she was faced with something that took the wonder away...so she chose to bottle up her heart, to protect it from the pains....until one day she realized she needed her heart...and another little girl younger than her was able to help her find it again...it reminds me of this piece I created recently during this time...called "Cultivating"..it has within it bottles that contain some magical wonders of the universe..a glittery butterfly wing, seed pods that give life, sparkle beads, ancient hindu text, all of which remind me of my ancestors...All of which I chose to capture in a moment, in this time ....for me it is like holding onto the treasures of our good memories....but knowing I still have to let my heart feel all of it...vs. clinging to it 

I loved this book of 'hope' and human resiliency.